Letters
Mindy Gottlieb Barry ‘91
7722 Spoleto Lane
McLean, VA 22102-4786
March 4, 2005
Dear Colgate Annual Fund,
In years past, when I stopped working and was enrolled in graduate school, I wished that I could donate more to Colgate. Now that I am in a financial position to make a more substantial donation than before, I am so disappointed with Colgate’s “New Vision” that I am choosing to donate nothing. I believe that Colgate’s efforts to obtain jurisdiction over the Greek houses at Colgate is a misguided solution that will cause greater harm to the character of Colgate graduates than it will benefit those individuals while they are Colgate students.
My experience at Colgate was one of the most influential periods in my life. I learned not just academic substance, but, more importantly, I learned to become self reliant, I learned to interact with peers in a community living situation, and I learned adult life skills. Granted, the demands on me as a financial and independent adult were not identical to those required of me once I graduated and lived “on my own.” But the lessons I learned through many of the situations to which I was exposed forced me to gain many of the skills that have become inherent in my daily life, but which I had not theretofore been required to adopt. For example, I learned the responsibilities concomitant to renting an apartment when living “off campus;” the responsibilities of a forward-thinking leader when planning for and supervising physical improvements to my sorority house; the responsibilities of a citizen when involved in a traffic accident and as the victim of an on-campus crime; the responsibilities of an employee when held accountable for academic assignments and classroom attendance, for volunteer commitments, and for quality and rigorous scholarship; and, most importantly, I learned to make choices, accept consequences, and be held personally accountable so that I have been able to make personal and professional decisions that have made – and continue to make – me personally fulfilled and successful.
I do see, however, that the failure to learn many of these lessons truly impacts success in life. In professional, supervisory situations I see how some who have not had opportunities to make choices and be held accountable for their consequences lack the same degree of ambition, work ethic, ethics, citizenship, and vision I had immediately upon entering the “real world.” While I do believe that many individuals who do not have the opportunity to gain these principles in college can learn them subsequently, I see how appropriately, but unfortunately, those individuals are passed over for promotions and other professional opportunities that may have long-lasting effects. And, as a parent, I see how easy it could be to limit opportunities for failure for my daughter. I imagine this paternalistic and benevolent instinct motivates many of the decisions made by Colgate’s faculty and administration. However, also as a parent, I recognize that by limiting opportunities for failure for my daughter I am, in fact, ensuring failure as she will be unprepared to anticipate choices that may help her avoid failure. In addition, as failure is inevitable at some point in life, I am not equipping her with the life tools for managing failure. Colgate’s decision to assume ownership responsibilities over all residential options removes one of the last remaining opportunities for Colgate students to learn the rights and responsibilities functioning and independent adults in the United States must learn. Moreover, this action not only fails to send a message that students privileged enough to attend Colgate still need to learn such life lessons, it actually sends a message that Colgate students, who are legally adults, can rely on others to deal with responsibilities. While I recognize the value of Colgate’s “J Court” as an alternative to governmental criminal justice systems, I cannot see how any effects from restricting academic and residential choices can benefit Colgate graduates. I see only how these decisions benefit the academic leanings of the faculty, the financial standing of Colgate, and the paternalistic impulses of the faculty and administration.
That being said, I have faith that Colgate as an institution of learning will grow and learn from this decision, because Colgate was a primary source of my learning the value of growing from and remedying the effects of bad decisions. I will be waiting for the opportunity to give Colgate a “second chance,” because my years at Colgate taught me the folly of holding grudges and the wisdom that comes from making an experience-based decision. In the meantime, I will continue to support the prospect that Colgate negotiate fairly and equally – a right afforded adults in the “real world.”
Truly,